All tagged relationship patterns

Subtle Messages We Give Each Other: The Royal Road To Deep Connection

Julie spoke, as she usually does - hesitantly and haltingly about what has been going on for her. It was, truth be told, not very interesting. Our work together has been really slow because even exploring her day-to-day trivia was all she could tolerate.

Several months into our work together, I started to notice a rather disturbing pattern - I usually saw her after lunch and several times now, I would find myself nodding off as she spoke. This was unprofessional and embarrassing!

In our latest session, this happened again. I had once considered the sleepiness to be post-lunch fatigue, but this time round, I was pretty certain that it was something else. I tried my best to keep awake - I pinched myself, chided myself and coached myself to focus on Julie and her needs. Yet, the harder I struggled against the lull, the sleepier I got!

Sticks and Stones Will Break My Bones But Words Will Never Hurt Me?

‘Why are you so quiet?” Sarah asked Andrew.

“I’m shy” he responded smiling.

“But you hardly say anything!” She insisted. Andrew simply smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

“And you do that thing!” She mimicked him and rolled her eyes. “Forget it.” She turned to others at the table and started to talk to them instead. Andrew had very much wanted to talk to her like others were talking to her except that he could not bring himself to do so. A leaded dread crawled across his skin, causing him to shudder in the heat and nestled itself into the pit of his stomach. He knew what was to come - it had happened more times than he cared to count. It will only bring him more pain.

Self Sabotage

Susan announced on Facebook to the 1000 friends she has that once again people have been bullying her. Last time round, it was the boss who had ‘screamed’ at her (when really he just sent an email saying that her work was always late and had mistakes in them) and this time round, a really good friend had told her off for being way too needy.

For Susan, these acts were bullying and denigrating.

“They don’t appreciate how hard it is for me!” She’d complain to her friends over supper, “I’m very fragile at this moment!”

“You don’t have to take that crap from him,” Sarah had said to her.

“That’s right!” Lynn chimed in, between drinking her ice tea.