Lowering The Walls To The Vault Of Our Emotions
Max (pseudonym) looked disturbingly directly into my eyes, perched on the edge of his seat.
“I feel dead inside - empty - nothing”
This was in response to my asking him to experience his emotions - to let down the walls that prevented emotions from being felt and expressed. I attempted to help him using the 4-part Focusing approach that Eric and I have put together. across several sessions, we got as far as nowhere.
Then Max took pity on me one day and shook me out of my rigidity - “I felt something the other night, when I was watching a movie and the lyrics of this song came up, and I started to cry like a BABY!”
We started to look at things differently and exploring what other conditions helped him to look behind the deadness and ‘nothing’ to the something. Certain melodies and lyrics and certain storylines in movies seemed to appeal to Max’s tear ducts. I confess that I felt relieved then - we were finally progressing!
In my previous post I talked about the reasons why we wall up our emotions and how we tend to do it. Trying to get to our emotions by bulldozing or demolishing the wall is a bad idea. The wall is useful and is part of us. We need to respect it and instead find ways to negotiate with us to let us into the space where our emotions are.
So consider for yourself, what conditions helps you feel more emotions than usual. What places, people, time of the day, books, lyrics, poems, smells, memories, movies, stories appeal to your emotions and help the walls lower down?
Knowing these helps give us some control over when we want to feel our emotions and when we don’t want them. Have fun exploring.